Jay was a foundling/Orphan but in his heart and soul; he came from Sussex.
Jay had a challenging childhood which is why he had such strong values towards family and protection of those Of those loves and respects.
He moved around living in various children’s homes and felt unloved and unwanted.
Living in Southport, St John’s Wood, Battersea Park in London, Westminster Abbey children’s homes and then ending up in Crawley, then Carfax, Horsham, Sussex.
He ran away from the children’s homes in order to escape and try and make something of himself on his own. That shows just how strong and independent he was.
Between the ages of nine and 12 he was living on the streets staying on roofs of multi-storey car parks, sleeping in bandstands and anywhere he felt safe.
I believe this could explain why he would sleep with one eye half open for survival.
His interest and need for speed began when he would compete in competitions on the cycle speedway, for the Hellingly Lions in Hailsham.
when living in Carfax he would attend a youth club, (still close to his heart) called the needles youth Club.
His love for music was encouraged here and it gave him another sense of being part of a social family, that promoted positive progression through the power of music.
It was here that he was given a nickname of Budgie, as he could sing like a bird and had hair like Adam Faith.
He would play on various bandstands but never busked for money as he played for the love of music and never liked asking for anything in that way in return, stemming from when he was homeless. He wanted to fill the town with sound and the joy on Helen, Daphne and others faces was enough.
In his teenage years Jay worked at Crawley Bowling Alley and found he had a natural flare for 10 pin bowling.
This explains how he was able to bowl like a professional and point out in true Jay style; exactly what I was doing wrong and how I should be standing and holding the ball when we went bowling in the earlier years of our relationship.
I’m sure like a true gentleman he let me win a few sets, however towards the end of the round; all that I remember seeing on the scoreboard was XXXXX (from all the strikes he bowled) to show off like a macho man.
Without fail, it always caused everyone in the venue to stop, stare in awe and cheer him on (which boosted his confidence in every way).
Back to younger years, He worked at the Kings Head Hotel in Brighton, as a night porter which was where he met David Fletcher who sadly is no longer with us. This must be why why he was so good at folding sheets and towels and was particular about making sure they were all stacked neatly in a pile, with no creases or corners sticking out.
He had a love of cars, motorbikes and entertaining people as well as water-sports.
He bought and sold cars and bikes when living in Hailsham and when he became homeless again He met Shirley wall as Budgie and they began dating.
Shirley took Budgie home to meet the family and Mrs Agnes Wall and Mr Bernie Wall, took him in giving him his first ever proper experience of family life.
He remained there after Shirley left to live with her now late husband, Keith, with whom they shared a lifetime of love and brought beautiful children into their family.
Jay and Shirley then became more of a brother and sister and remain that way to this day, despite years of being apart. He always said that you can never break the bond of brother and sisterly love and its for life, no matter what.
Jay was a very proud man and the first time I ever saw him shed a real tear, was the day he heard the news from his sister Shirley (who couldn’t be here today, but is watching via live stream) that Mrs Wall (as he called her) had sadly passed away.
Bernie Wall (his chosen dad) would sometimes feel a little overwhelmed with all of Budgies girls, cars and bikes and then his D.J decks with UFO SOUNDS on the front.
He would DJ in clubs around Sussex and Brighton, in his “Sounds Groovy Roadshow” being the life and soul of the party venues.
Playing Frankie Valli and the four seasons famous song, “the night” for the all night ravers, he would play a mix of soul and Rock.
He also joined and left a few bands and would tell a few stories about the Mojos and the Mobiles band who often played in the clubs down there.
Parts of information from this era within Jays life are not yet complete, but he moved away to France for what was meant to only be a short period of time; but after setting up a water sports centre which included a bar crawl service by boat, he met someone and began a relationship with her and lived in Dragenjon san-Maxime, san-trope’s For around 4 years. Sadly, she passed away at a young age and then heartbroken, he returned to the UK to find David (who had come back without him at an earlier date) and was now in a relationship with Sandra of whom David married.
He seemed to have returned back to his love of music and also his cars and bikes which he found to be a quick and easy way to get an income.
He had a few jobs working behind various bars and then decided to move away from the place he held dear to his heart; coming to live here in the north west.
It was here he met Darren and Shane of whom became his brothers and together they were known as the “Three Musketeers” and also Emma who was like another Sister to Jay.
(This was then to lead into when he met Kelly. Daughter Sophie was born in 1991 and they married in 1994 which would be where they fill in these gaps)
Im 1995, Darren, Shane and Emma became closer like a family.
Jay then spent time away from home in 1996....
There were some exciting stories and times ahead for the 3 musketeers after this point, which I will fill in over the next coming months.....
Jay and I met and began dating in 2003 when he became part of our family calling my mum "Mrs Big" as he would go to her for advice on things one would ask their mum.
Although we were on and off through the years, he always said "he'd get less for murder" compared with the length of time we'd loved each other for and was his longest relationship even before we reached the 10 year mark. It took him nearly 19 years to propose to me, which he did on the 13th April 2022 during his 2 month surge.
I was so grateful for having the Real Jay back, albeit for just 2.5 months, it was a happy few months and we were able to have lots of alone time together with "just us" nearly every day up until the 21st June when we had extended family staying as well.
I was able to show him my wedding dress at home, on the Sunday before he was "reborn" as he'd say and that smile will stay in my memories forever.
Until we meet again my darling Jay, my sweet Budgie.... I will continue with your legacy of keeping your memories alive and putting smiles on peoples faces. I will try my best to look out for those people you constantly looked out for (as well of myself first as you'd tell me to do of course).
I love you always and forever will you be my real life super hero and now my guardian hero angel. Xx